More Tales from Ilona's

Esteemed Readers,

I am sitting at the kitchen table in Ilona's Bed and Breakfast's 'New House' as I prepare for what may or may not be an interesting trip. The First Officer and I will circumnavigate the globe in the next week and a half and I hope to capture some interesting stories to relate to you.

The Redoubt Volcano, eruption which I discussed here and here has had local effects on Anchorage. When I rode the MD-11 jumpseat up here to Anchorage yesterday morning I had hopes of capturing pictures of the eruption but clouds were covering that side of the Cook Inlet.

I did get these two interesting pictures to share with you. The first is of the Cook Inlet itself, the ice floes that still exist on the inlet, a cargo ship leaving the inlet and the 'Sleeping Lady Mountain' / Mt Susitina in the background. The sun is just rising so that my little camera was challenged to have enough light to get a clear picture, but I think the colors were very nice.

Just after that scene, we lined up to land on Ted Steven International Airport's Runway 07R. I was sitting in the center flight deck jumpseat and got this striking picture. You can see the Chugach Mountain Range, downtown Anchorage, the runway and the airport control tower. (Ignore the bug spots on the windscreen please.)

Several of the other pilots staying here at Ilona's were here when the big Redoubt eruption covered the city with ash. They say it looked a rainstorm approaching, except it was a brownish gray. The ash is very fine and gets into everything. After washing their cars several times the ash is still in the fine cracks and crevices.

These pictures are of Ilona's backyard. The black dots are clumps of ash. The ash is everywhere now and gives a sort of dreary gray overcoat to the countryside.

This has been kind of a boring post but as I was showering this morning, I remembered the saga I'm about to relate to you. This was part of an email I sent home on May 11, 2007. I hope it will liven things up a little.

Before I begin, please examine this picture.

Take note of the protuberance at the bottom and the sticker which clearly states "Automatic Shower Cleaner". I'll wait while you do this. Ready?

I awoke this morning and went to the bathroom to begin my morning preparations and ablutions. I'll spare you the details. An important point to note was that it was nearing the time that the ANC Ramp Agent calls my cell phone to 'alert' me for my trip. Knowing this, I'd still left my phone back in my room.

I had just doffed my pjs and pulled back the shower curtain to get into the shower when I heard this muffled beeping coming from somewhere. I also note that there is a strange looking device hanging from the shower head that wasn't there last I stayed here. You, gentle reader, must understand that decades of flying noisy jets has left my hearing in the audible range of 'beep' less than satisfactory. Beeps befuddle me and I no longer possess the ability to eco-locate their origins. Ignoring the obvious, I figure the beeps are my cell phone and the ramp is calling me so I turn back to where my pjs are hanging to get dressed and go back to the room.

This precise moment is when I'm struck in the face and eyes by a noxious stream of shower cleanser as the rotating head from hell on the bottom of the shower device comes alive with a loud whirring sound. Whirling and squirting, it is going about its designed and assigned task of liberally coating the shower and shower curtain once a day automatically. The beeping was obviously its polite and generous way of warning me that it was about to open the gates of hell.

With all this in the back of my mind, my body reacts to the emergency and I find myself standing there, naked, hands ineffectively cupped around the whirling head, as soap squirts everywhere through my fingers, continuing to drench the shower and yours truly. My eyes smart mightily and I'm more than moderately concerned about them. I'm here to tell you that it is possible to feel the emotions of panic and foolishness simultaneously.

After what seemed like an eternity, but was probably only seconds, some rationality returned and it occurred to me that I could solve my dilemma by stepping back, closing the shower curtain, and letting gorgon finish its task, leaving me free to grope for a towel.

So I did.

As many have noted before, there is always some knucklehead who doesn't get the word. Today it was me. Finished laughing yet? Good.

Until my next saga, I remain,

Dad / Geoff